So I know its been quite a long time since ive posted anything here, even a journal or pic or anything. Im sure some of you had been quite worried, some of you wondering where your coloring requests have gone, (dont worry i still have them saved, just alot has happened in the past well year and a half. I guess the best way is to start from the beggining
Back in may 2015 as you guys know I announced that I would be out of it for a few weeks/months from vocal surgery that i have to get ever couple of years. its a mix of multiple surgeries combined that i have to have due to constant muscle growths and its to help me breath and talk and not choke on blood when my cords tear.
As you all know i was out for a while and while it was fine for a while, complications did arise and i had to go back for follow up surgery. Twice. Its been a few months and so far no complications again. Which is great since alot of other things have happened since then.
I had lost my job at hostgator as well as my website i had hosting with them, so for now the site is kinda on hiaatus till i get it back up, money issues have araised with my limited funding from work, I have also moved out of my current living quarters and am finally on my own with no roomates, no guests living with me, finally on my own. With that in mind comes all the stress happening in my life.
If anyone has worked in customer service, they can relate, it is one of the most stressful jobs you can ever have. It is more stressful when you are in a call center environment as customers can get away with more than they can in person. There are also set expectations that are very hard to meet or even exceed at when in this environment. To put this in a perspective for those not aware, Imagine having to take a test on another subject that is something youve not studied for, in another language, and you have to make 100.
That is the closest perspective for how it is at this type of job. Now because of all of this, and with having to mvoe on my own to a part of town that is not well, not the safest place but not the worst, and up three fights of steps, as well as worrying about Bills for rent, power, water car insurance ect ect, this stress gets to you quite quickly. I probably could have typed this better but i do not have a way of typing it. needless to say, With the past few weeks, I have had to go to the emergancy room multiple times for chest pains, anxiety attacks passouts, among other things.
So Now im on multiple medications at this time for different things, mostly physical, as well as depression and anxiety. This has severly limited what I can do between the little time I have after work, to the point that Im not able to do much even move. While I do have some energy for things, Alot of things I used to be able to do, recording games, chatting with friends, drawing and coloring, im now very very limited as not only does the medication mess with my ability for this, it also reduces my energy as well as the therapy i have to go through daily between my off work hours.
There is some good news in this however, while I am limited on what I can do, I can do 1 or 2 things a day that Hopefully will be making things better. Once im finally off my medication or to a point it is reduced, I can go back full schedule for the things I want to do, however even then I have to severly reduce what I was doing before.
Before I was trying to learn to draw, record games, do video reviews, lets plays, color, go to college and more all at the same time, ussually multiple things at a time a day. Because of my current condition and from now on, I will have to as the dr puts it *mellow out* and reduce what I can do. I will still be trying to draw so i can get to doing my own things, and hey maybe ill enjoy it with commissions and perks. I will still be trying to record games and such for my youtube, (which to those that follow me thank you again for keeping up and with all the wishes.) however I will be limited to preety much these 2 things. I cant keep up this life style of doing multiple things as before as stress and planning for the future will continue to be on my plate, and until i am able to get to a less stressful job one that I enjoy these kinds of issues will continue to come up
I do appologize if this all seems a bit kind of a rant but It is something i needed to get out of the way to let everyone know. So again everyone, thank you for all your continued love and support, I truly can not tell you how much I appreciate this and how it helps me get by each and every day. There will be alot of changes you will all be seeing, some good, some not as good, but its all for a better future and to help me out. And thank you for taking the time to read this, if you made it this far, thank you, you should get a cookie.
Expect more journals in the future, this is more of a generalized one of what will happen, plans like my livestreams and commissions and such will come later.
As a last note, I am going to try to improve my art a little at a time, if anyone has great *schematics* on drawing things like hair hands anatomy they used to help them, please let me know, im going to take things one at a time focus on hands then hair then feet ect ect till i can bring it all together. it may be the best way to learn, any help will help me out.